Aug. 13th, 2019

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Historical Anti-Semitism Warning: This story is progressive for 1353, but the ‘happy’ ending is problematic. I like the best friends and the cynicism in the story - what do you think?



Once upon a time, there was a Jewish merchant and a Christian merchant who were the best and dearest of friends. You would scarcely know which house and which family belonged to each man, so frequently did they seek each other’s company and their wives and children likewise.

However, the Christian merchant feared his best friend would be condemned to hell, so he tried to talk the Jewish merchant into converting. Since his friend mostly changed the subject when it came up, the Christian merchant was very surprised one day to hear that the Jewish merchant planned to take a trip to Rome. “I will see the seat of Christianity with my own eyes and find it out for myself before I make a decision,” his friend declared. “Then, after my full investigation, you must accept my choice and promise never to bring the subject up again.”

At that, the Christian merchant lost all hope that his friend would ever convert. Rome was full of corruption, he knew: fraud, greed, deception, orgies, illegitimate sons given high roles in the church, crime, and misery. He tried to talk his friend out of the long journey, but to no avail, and gave his promise that he should preach no more but simply enjoy their friendship.

The Christian merchant, missing his best friend dearly, was overjoyed when the news that the Jewish merchant would arrive home on the next ship reached him. He decided he would no longer care about their religious differences, but instead would throw his best friend the best welcome-home party anyone could imagine.

Many friends were invited along with all their families, the celebrations lasted for days, and the traveller told many exciting stories of his adventures in Rome and the morally depraved people he met there. Finally, at the end of the party, the best friends shook each other’s hand and said a good night.

“I have made my final decision,” said the Jewish merchant. The Christian merchant nodded, having expected that. “I will convert to Christianity.”

“But why!”

“I saw so much corruption and cruelty in Rome,” said the Jewish merchant. “Every churchman can be bribed for a set price. They hold decadent orgies in St. Peter’s Basilica every Tuesday. Creating fake saints’ relics is the most popular cottage industry in town. And despite all these obstacles, the Christian religion spreads throughout the world! So I decided there must be something in it after all.”

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